Grape-Kun

"why dose a rock halfway around the world make me feel so?" - an annon
notice: sad reacts in the chat only. Please press "F" to pay respects Once upon a time their was a penguin by the name of Grape-kun, like you or me, only way better 'cause he was a penguin. But the gods had other plans for this legend...

Early life
grape-kun lived in a zoo in japan, he married another penguin named Midori, and they had a egg as lovers do, unfortunately as humans ruin everything they took the fucking egg away from them, because that's a great thing to do for new parents and not something from fucking dystopian scy-fi. Shockingly, this didn't do wonders for their relationship, Grape became despondent and started to refuse to eat, this in-turn made him sick and he went to the vet. While he was recovering his bitch of a wife had an affair with some dick named "Denka", normally penguins hate infidelity, but since they thought that the fucking long penguins taking him meant he was kill, they allowed it, and she and Denka had a kid named "Beer", after what i need whenever i remember this shit. This time they let them keep the fucking kid, but when Grape came back he was even more despondent, and ostracized, life was looking bleak for our boy Grape, but then a shining light came though...

An aside: Kemono Friends
Now around this time (2017) their was a show called "kemono friends", about animals anthropomorphized as little girls, because japan. Despite the setup and due to the director of the shows brilliance, it was a hit, so the zoo where our boy grape crashed decided to do a crossover.

oh and also Grape's kid ended up being named "Hanpen" and fucked up his foster mom (in all senses of the word), this is here mostly for histories sake.

now back to the epic o' Grape

Love and Anime
so the crossover was simple: put up cardboard cutouts of the characters in the same pen as their respective animal, free publicitie for everyone. Now most animals didn't give two shits about the cutouts, but then Grape-kun isn't most animals, he was awakened to the truth that 2D>3D and started obsessing over the cutout of a humboldt penguin named "Hululu", trying to court her, the staff was confused, but since he was eating on his own and playing in the water when he wasn't hanging with his waifu, so they thought it was a good thing on the whole, the internet, on the other hand, embraced their fellow weeb, making several memes dedicated to the Grapemister, he was happy, but still, more trials awaited him.

over the wall 2 electric boogaloo
out of concern for Grape's health they tried putting up a fence between him and Hululu, proving that these fuckers don't know shit about animal care, after realizing that the fence was fucking him up harder than anything else, they got rid of it.

Long penguins are wierd
==== “I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business.” - Bernard Stonehouse ==== now while the internet was memeing this eventually the director caught wind of Grape, and thought it was fucking hilarious, eventually he sent the voice actress to meet Grape, he largely ignored the weird long penguin and still obsessed over Hululu, this got the show and zoo even more publicity, also the fact that he disregarded filthy 3D imposter for glorious 2D lead to even more memes, which in turn lead to even more publicity, creating a positive feedback loop.

Tsunami, the hit single from prozzak
now as japan is on 46 trillion fault-lines, earthquakes and tsunamis are more common than snow. and yet again a tsunami was coming, now while penguins don't give two shits and a corn cob about water, cardboard is somewhat less durable so they took Hululu away for safekeeping, Grape tried to stop the long penguin from stealing his waifu. Didn't work mind you, but it's the thought that counts.

grace
after all these trials and tribulations the zoo declared that they where keeping the cardboard out so Grape-kun would forever be reunited with his waifu! A happy ending for all! They where even preparing a festival for The Grape!

another aside
humboldt penguins live to be about 20 in captivity

Grapes is 20

oh no.

Death
due to health complications, grape died, he was with his waifu in his final moments, their was a public outcry of grief, with statements from the director and voice actress, the artist for the show drew new art of Hululu with Grape and sad memes

he was a true friend

F.